Rhiannon

Rhiannon comes to me in my dreams,
ebbing and flowing like the waxing and waning
of the moon

steady hoofbeats 
clop, clop, clop  
and then,  
a rush of beating wings 
and a swirl of tiny white petals 
that spiral like stars 
  
At night she reveals her stories
in ever-increasing layers that  
that echo my own joy and pain 
and loss and gain 
and I realize her story 
is my story 
and my story is hers

She tantalizes Pwyll 
as I tempted my first lover,
and invites him into her bed 
to open herself  
in an agony of passionate joy

Her jealous maids  
smear blood on her skin 
with the faces 
of women who rejected me

Her longing for Pryderi 
is my own gut-wrenching pain
at the loss of my own son and grandson  
so spitefully taken from me

Her love for Manawydan
tastes as full and mature 
as the fine red wine 
that Richard and I drink together  
on the anniversary of our marriage
 
Night after night, 
we uncover new depths 
and unpack the truths I need to lean on 
as I travel forward in my own life

She teaches me how
to listen the stories of my children who live in such an uncertain world
and why they must travel their own path,  
not saddled by the regrets and needs 
of their elders

She shows me how to shoulder 
the burden of my aging friends and family
and honour their stories of love and loss
so they can understand the value of their wisdom 
and believe in the joy of their company

She helps me find the strength
to bear the challenges of my own aging

And then one night,  
she reaches down and pulls me on to her horse
and together we fly into the night
across emerald fields  
and rolling hills of my ancestors
until I finally understand 
that the only story that matters in the end 
is my own. 

Published in Feminism and Religion Blog, February 2023

This magical music written and performed by my bardic friend and teacher Gwilym Morus perfectly captures the ebbing and flowing of Rhiannon's visits to my dreams. More about his teachings is available here and his enchanting music can be found here. 

Cover image purchased from IStock photos.

May these words bring truth
and healing through open hands and hearts.
And then, let it flow back into our Mother Earth
for the love of all her beings.